(I'm in the office of Reince Priebus as he meets with Speaker of the House - and Old Friend - Paul Ryan)
REINCE PRIEBUS
"Paul, I was on the plane trip to Dallas with Trump. I wanted to ask him to tone it down, to be more presidential and discuss how we can take action now to unify the party and strengthen the down ticket."
PAUL RYAN
"Sounds like a Plan. How did it go."
PRIEBUS
"Couldn't have gone worse. He complained the whole time about bad press, about how I was not doing my job, about how I need to get McConnell and the Senators to back him on every issue."
"Hell, I never even got around to my agenda"
RYAN
(starts laughing. Quietly, at first, and then loudly)
"Reince, that's the first meeting you've ever not been in charge. So how are you and the Donald getting along?"
PRIEBUS
"Terrible. He is under the mistaken idea that I work for him and that I'm constantly waiting for his orders."
RYAN
(laughs out loud)
"Well Reince, isn't that your job as RNC Chair?"
(Priebus throws a magazine at Ryan, who catches it with his right hand)
PRIEBUS
"No Paul, that is not my job. But every day I have less and less control. And believe it or not, I know exactly what is going to happen to me."
RYAN
(still laughing)
"Let me guess, a best selling book and a great screenplay for a three year show that replaces House of Cards."
PRIEBUS
"If we win, Trump fires me - If I make it to the election - and says he won in spite of the RNC. If I lose, Trump fires me and blames me for the loss."
RYAN
(laughing)
"And if we lose the White House and Congress - You are practicing law in Kenosha. You may need to consider part time work because your lawyering might be a bit slow. Or you could teach at Whitewater, your alma mater. The fishing is great in Lake Koshkonong."
PRIEBUS
'Having fun Paul? Having a good time here? Are you really into schadenfreude?
RYAN
"Impressive vocabulary! Maybe you should teach high school English."
"Listen, no one can help you. You are in charge of a once-in-a-hundred-years hurricane."
"And you're right. It's not going to end well for you."
"So stop complaining and do the best job you can."
"Do I wish Jeb or Marco, or even John, won? Yes. They didn't. And now Trump is all yours."
PRIEBUS
"Thanks!"
RYAN
"Don't mention it."
"Can I buy you lunch?"
"You could use some protein - a lot of protein."
PRIEBUS
"Sure, and words can't express my appreciation for your words of wisdom."
"Now I see the wise counsel that got you the Speaker job."
(They both start laughing),
RYAN
"Right - I didn't want this job either."
"So you came to the right place. We're the champions of wrong place at the wrong time."
(both laugh out loud - and proceed to lunch)
----Gordon Lawrence
REINCE PRIEBUS
"Paul, I was on the plane trip to Dallas with Trump. I wanted to ask him to tone it down, to be more presidential and discuss how we can take action now to unify the party and strengthen the down ticket."
PAUL RYAN
"Sounds like a Plan. How did it go."
PRIEBUS
"Couldn't have gone worse. He complained the whole time about bad press, about how I was not doing my job, about how I need to get McConnell and the Senators to back him on every issue."
"Hell, I never even got around to my agenda"
RYAN
(starts laughing. Quietly, at first, and then loudly)
"Reince, that's the first meeting you've ever not been in charge. So how are you and the Donald getting along?"
PRIEBUS
"Terrible. He is under the mistaken idea that I work for him and that I'm constantly waiting for his orders."
RYAN
(laughs out loud)
"Well Reince, isn't that your job as RNC Chair?"
(Priebus throws a magazine at Ryan, who catches it with his right hand)
PRIEBUS
"No Paul, that is not my job. But every day I have less and less control. And believe it or not, I know exactly what is going to happen to me."
RYAN
(still laughing)
"Let me guess, a best selling book and a great screenplay for a three year show that replaces House of Cards."
PRIEBUS
"If we win, Trump fires me - If I make it to the election - and says he won in spite of the RNC. If I lose, Trump fires me and blames me for the loss."
RYAN
(laughing)
"And if we lose the White House and Congress - You are practicing law in Kenosha. You may need to consider part time work because your lawyering might be a bit slow. Or you could teach at Whitewater, your alma mater. The fishing is great in Lake Koshkonong."
PRIEBUS
'Having fun Paul? Having a good time here? Are you really into schadenfreude?
RYAN
"Impressive vocabulary! Maybe you should teach high school English."
"Listen, no one can help you. You are in charge of a once-in-a-hundred-years hurricane."
"And you're right. It's not going to end well for you."
"So stop complaining and do the best job you can."
"Do I wish Jeb or Marco, or even John, won? Yes. They didn't. And now Trump is all yours."
PRIEBUS
"Thanks!"
RYAN
"Don't mention it."
"Can I buy you lunch?"
"You could use some protein - a lot of protein."
PRIEBUS
"Sure, and words can't express my appreciation for your words of wisdom."
"Now I see the wise counsel that got you the Speaker job."
(They both start laughing),
RYAN
"Right - I didn't want this job either."
"So you came to the right place. We're the champions of wrong place at the wrong time."
(both laugh out loud - and proceed to lunch)
----Gordon Lawrence